I don't love you.

I've been away for a while and it made me think about some things and some people. I can now say, without pain in my heart, that I don't feel anything towards you except that I do care for you as my friend, as a brother. Must be because you were there during those times that he wasn't, you were the one, aside from my girl friends, patiently talking to me then, you were my constant textmate and virtual buddy then. And when things started to fall apart, you were there to catch me and help me get back on my feet again. You were there like any brother would be for her sister and I misconstrued it. I was reading it wrong all this time. I was sending wrong signals to each and every part of my brain and my heart.

I don't love you because it's still him. After all that has been said and done, it's still him. After all the tears that I cried, it's still him. After all the psychological sickness that I've had, it's still him. You just helped me cope up and move on from him. 

You don't have to worry now, you and my girl friends, I am fine. I do still love the guy, who made me cry buckets of tears, but I won't let the same thing happen to me. I have all of you behind me. I have all your love to make life more meaningful. But I don't love you now, the way that I thought I do.